Just over twenty-four hours ago, I arrived at the hospital for our embryo transfer. It was eerily quiet. Apparently, outpatient is pretty much shut down on the weekends, so the only patients there were those undergoing IVF retrievals and transfers. We stepped in the elevator and onto the second floor, where only two days before we had received our news of our five follicles. A nurse met us, took us to our room where I changed out of my clothes and into the lovely and modest gown, and gave me water to drink to prepare for the procedure.
And there we waited.
There were perhaps three or four patients, and since we were last, we listened as each received their instructions and were rolled out. While we waited, we talked, laughed, prayed, and happily read messages and texts from friends and family. A fellow IVF-er had told me to try and enjoy the moment, and so we did.
Finally, it was my turn. My doctor came in and in his very matter-of-fact way said that we had two embryos: one of them was good, and one of them "so-so". I cringed slightly at hearing that one wasn't doing well, but relief also swept over me. Both were alive. Both were ready. And both would be placed inside of me. All of the night before, I had slept restlessly, waking up constantly and praying for them, asking God to protect them and keep them safe. That morning I awoke at 5 am to tears -- I must have been crying over them in my sleep! The hours before we left were spent praying for them.
Our doctor left and our nurse came in. A sweet nurse named Missy (which is the name of the nurse I love at our clinic) rolled me away into the same room where the egg aspiration had taken place. She got me into position, turned on some music (how could I not love her??), and covered me up with warm blankets. Other nurses came in to help move me to where I needed to be. Once prepped, it was time for my doctor to come in.
The procedure was uncomfortable, of course, but in all honesty, I've experienced much worse. In fact, the most uncomfortable part about it was that I had to pee the whole time thanks to the full bladder they insisted I had. My doctor narrated a bit about what he was doing, and finally said, "Okay, I'm going to place the embryos in your uterus now."
A few minutes later, he helped the nurse with the ultrasound and directed me to the screen so I could see. He showed me my uterus and pointed to a light blob near the bottom. "And there are the embryos," he said.
And that was that. He directed me to continue my medications no matter what and take the pregnancy blood test as instructed. He gave a final word of hope and luck, and left.
I stayed in the room for awhile, trying to follow my instructions of no moving whatsoever ("wet noodle," the nurse had insisted), then was put back on an inclined bed with my feet in the air. The nurse took me to recovery, sweetly chatting about how she hopes this works for us along the way, and soon Robby met me there. After about an hour, and after every other person had left except two nurses, we finally got to go home.
I'm nearly finished with my 24 hour bed rest...which has not been as fun as it sounds! Hanging out in bed is one thing, but having to lie on your back with your feet elevated for 24 hours is just plain uncomfortable! Visits (and treats) from my parents, sister, and Robby's parents helped. And of course my incredible husband waiting on me isn't so bad, either :)
I'm so grateful for the experience I've had. I keep holding my abdomen and praying for the little embryos inside of me. I am anxious for the day of our pregnancy test to come, but I also want to stay in this moment awhile longer. No tears. No disappointment. Just hope.