2WW: 1WD

(Translation: Two Week Wait. One Week Down.)

Our little embryos are one week old today! Only one more week to go until we find out how they've done with me. Part of me wishes May 3rd would just get here already, and part of me wishes I could stay in this bliss for a bit longer.

Overall, I've done well...except for coming down with the stomach flu. At first, I was slightly excited, thinking maybe it was an early (albeit crazy early) pregnancy symptom. I had a low fever all day and just felt a bit ick. That turned into a miserable night of the flu, which I am still struggling to get over. The worst is past, though.

Besides this horrible and disgusting past twenty-four hours, the week has been focused on resting and positivity. Usually, when I've had my IUIs, I sink into a depression almost immediately after the procedure. I feel like there is no more I can do and no more reason to hope. It either has worked, or it hasn't. When any tiny cramp comes along, I swear it's all over. The IVF felt different. Part of it was knowing that the embryos actually existed and were inside of me (that was amazing), but part of it was also the mindset we told ourselves we would have. We decided before the procedure that we would be hopeful and positive. We would trust that God was using this for his good, and that He was going to give us a family. We wouldn't discuss plan B's or what-ifs or buts or any of that. God has directed us to this, and there is no reason for us to hold on to some negative end result. And anyway, I know from experience: preparing ourselves for disappointment doesn't really help. It doesn't. And it just makes that 2ww a sad time when it could be a joyous time.

So, I'm full of joy. (I'm also full of saltine crackers and chicken broth. Ew.) I'm grateful for what I have, right here, right now.