Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Our Adoption Orientation: Good, but not Easy

Yesterday evening, Robby and I joined with thirty-five other couples in our adoption orientation with Bethany Christian Services. Interestingly enough, we participated from the comfort of our own couch in our own home. Since the main office is housed in Modesto but serves much of Central and Northern California, they choose to have these orientations conference-call style, with us texting in our questions.

The entire orientation took about two hours. We've actually been in such an orientation before (except face-to-face), but since it was over two years ago, we wanted to sit in again. Some of the information was new, and some we knew well, but it was all good.

Of course, good information does not necessary equal easy-to-process-and-put-into-practice information. Some of what we heard was hard, friends. There is a waiting list even to get on the waiting list. Statistically speaking, adoptions have dramatically decreased, (which in many ways is a positive thing!), but the reality is there are more waiting families than there are babies. Some couples have been waiting for years and are still waiting. Embryo adoption was mentioned, a door we've barely closed, which naturally had us curious again. Networking was brought up, which is a new (and somewhat intimidating!) idea to us. And the simple question of Are you ready? always causes us to pause for a moment. This is the reality: Adoption is no small endeavor emotionally, financially, mentally, or spiritually.

The truth is, when the orientation was over, I felt pretty defeated. And unfortunately, since the wounds of infertility aren't totally healed (and I wonder if they ever will be), I also felt heartbroken all over again.

Thankfully, I didn't stay defeated for long. (That, by the way, is how I know I'm coming along in my healing.) The evening ended good. It ended in prayer, in Scripture, in peace, and in joy!

It ended with us once again recognizing that it is God who moves mountains! God is preparing the way for us, as well as for the mother and baby we will one day know. (That thought is beyond anything I can attempt to fathom, friends!) It's not easy for us, being where we are, but it is good. I wonder if that is true of so many things in life.

We look forward to sharing more with you! And, as I say all the time, we thank you for praying and caring. :) And now, a pretty picture to leave you with, simply because budding trees mean hope to us. This is our gorgeous butterfly magnolia tree, which burst into bloom a week or so ago.