Saturday, August 7, 2010


This week has been a bit rough for me. As I shared, it's my first real week off, the beginning of my new phase of life in a sense, and it hit right after about six weeks straight of running around, vacationing, church things, projects, etc. It began somewhat unfortunately as I had a cold, a UTI, the 24-hour flu (the achey one), and a yeast infection nearly back to back the first few days. All that to say, my defenses--both physically and emotionally--were down.

Kelly keeps a blog, and a couple of days ago, she wrote about her daughter when it's nearly her naptime. Kelly's daughter is an incredibly joyful baby. I spent four days straight with them and hardly saw her cry, and even if she was upset, there were never major tantrums. However, she does show that she is tired and wants her nap in one way: everything becomes, as Kelly says it, "heartbreak." Little things that would just roll right over her at any other time, such as bumping her head or Kelly walking away, become a reason for major tears.

I hate to say it, but when I'm tired, drained, a little on the sick side, I am like that little girl. (How sad! A one year old!) And then throw in the fact that I find a lot of my identity in what I do and accomplish, I'm bound to have a bad week once things slow down and the way my life has looked for years completely changes.

I'm not saying that I can't be truly sad about my infertility. I can, and I am. But what I've noticed is comments, situations, issues that I can usually handle--in light of God's promises and hand in my life--become a way bigger deal to me at certain times. Noticing this truth doesn't necessary fix what I feel, but it is good for me to acknowledge the times when I'm down and deal with it! It may mean I need to spend more time in prayer or reading my Bible; it may mean I go for a walk; or sometimes it just may mean I need a nap.

1 comment:

  1. Candace, you are not a 1 year old. Anna is very mature for her age. JK! Seriously, yesterday I considered murder just because I was hungry and tired. You are so not alone on this one. Concerning this post and the last, praise be to God that he is patient and never gives up on us!