Today was the big day for our IUI, and it was a success, as successful as these things may be. Of course, we won't know if it is really a success for another two weeks, but things looked good today. As far as the experience, it wasn't the worst. It was like a combination of a pap smear and the HSG I had done back in August (the dye test to check my fallopian tubes), but the good part was, it was relatively quick. I have had quite a bit of cramping today because of it, but besides that, I feel fine.
The last two days have been emotional for us, but in a good way. Last night Robby and I were able to talk a long time about the procedure, and although neither of us said anything new, I felt like we had even more peace about it. Today, I feel excited and nervous: excited of course with the possibility that this could result in a life; nervous with waiting for the results and then dealing with them.
There is also is another response I have that I wasn't expecting, and that is humility. For many people, having a baby is easy (relatively speaking), and it doesn't require much extra effort. A decision is made, and within a few months, the couple sees the result of that decision. For us, it's been different. We've had to ask everyday for God to give this to us, and we've had to commit ourselves to others for help, physically and emotionally. It's very humbling. I am unable to do what comes so naturally for most women, and that has made me recognize my dependency on God and those He will use. It also reveals to me the lack of dependency I have in other areas of my life, and this should not be so. Whether something comes as easily as breathing or not, God is the giver of everything and is the one who is all-sufficient.
I will use the next two weeks to think and write about what God has been teaching me through the last few years during this process, so read if you would like. Otherwise, you can wait to hear from me--either through this blog or through a call--in about two weeks. Thank you for your prayers and support.