This past week, I let my principal know that I wouldn't be returning to work at Green Acres next year. It was a huge decision for me, but not one that came without much prayer and thought. In fact, I have been praying for this for well over a year, asking God if Green Acres, and teaching in general, was where he wanted me to be. The thing is, I thought the decision would be easy for me. I thought (well, I hoped) that I would get pregnant, and the decision would be made. I never anticipated having to make this decision without having the...well...excuse of being pregnant. It's one thing to say I'm going to be a stay-at-home mom, but being a stay-at-home person doesn't quite go over as well.
When I realized that getting pregnant perhaps wasn't going to be my "out" for teaching, it became clear that I was going to have to make this decision and trust God. I knew that people wouldn't really understand. Why would someone who is doing well in her career and is not at the moment carrying a baby quit her job?! For many people, it just seems absurd. But for me, I know it's right. I know this is what God wants me to do.
The scary thing is, I don't have much of a plan. I have some ideas of things I'd like to do, but for the first time in a very very long time, I'm allowing God to lead me. And I'll be honest: this feels very foreign to me. But I think this is precisely what God wants me to do and feel right now. It may appear that my plan has failed, but I know God's plan is still perfectly on course.