Going through my old posts did show me how much I've grown and changed, though. At that time, I could barely even think about adoption. Although Robby and I still aren't ready to adopt, we did attend an information meeting a couple of weeks ago about adoption. This was a good step for us. I'll share more about it later, but for now I can say I'm grateful God gave us that opportunity to attend. I know He wanted us there.
I also see that I'm better understanding the value God still has on my life and on Robby's and my life together. I think we're so accustomed to giving value to our lives only if it includes a family, and surely a family is a valuable thing. But I'm recognizing that God has a purpose for me, and I have value in His eyes even if I don't ever become a mother.
Finally, I recognize that I am more open about our struggle. I think, at the beginning, it was almost embarrassing for me to share with others that we were unable to have children. I didn't want to deal with people's reactions, and I certainly didn't want people talking about me. I know now, though, that this is a load to be shared, a burden to be born by those who love us. It has been freeing to share more about our journey, and I find joy in seeing how God uses us to do just that.
There. This all helped very much. Thank you :)