Song: For Today

I've shared a new song on my music blog called "For Today," and I thought I'd share it here, as well, and give a little more of the background of writing it.

I wrote the song in January of this year.  January was a tough month for me, and if you've been following my journey, you may remember me saying so.  It was hard for another year to come and go without my husband and me seeing new life coming to us; it was hard to turn another year older for the same reason.  I found myself struggling to stay afloat and keep hopeful.

One morning, Rob came in and told me that some friends of ours had just found out they were pregnant.  I feel like I always have to say this, but, here goes again: We love our friends.  We love our friends' kids.  We love that our friends share their joys with us.  It may seem hard to believe these to be true when I am honest about how tough it can be for me to hear of a pregnancy, but somehow, both exist.  I can be both happy for a friend's fullness and saddened at my own emptiness.

Most of the time.

This particular morning, there wasn't much happiness going on.  When you're doing all you can just to keep going, sometimes there's not much left for anything else.  I'm not proud of my response to Rob that day (I believe it was something like, Why did you even tell me this? *storm out of the room.  Nice, huh?), but it is what it is.  I walked out about the time he received a phone call, went straight to the piano, and wrote this.  I often keep my Bible by the piano, so during this cry, I pulled out Psalm 121 and read the first verse over and over.  "I lift my eyes to the hills--where does my help come from?  My help comes form the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth."

Sometimes I struggle to write a song, and other times, the words come as easily as humming.  This time it was as if all these thoughts had been tucked away, just waiting for me to give them a chance to appear.

For Today

Sometimes strong, sometimes weak,

Sometimes full of words, and sometimes I can’t speak.

Sometimes joy, sometimes pain,

Sometimes understanding, and sometimes barely sane.

Then I lift my eyes to the hills where I hope to find

Another ounce of strength to save me just in time.

Just enough grace for today.

Sometimes peace, sometimes fear,

Sometimes laughter ringing, and sometimes tears.

Sometimes morning, sometimes night,

Sometimes overflowing, sometimes dry.

Then I lift my eyes to the hills where I hope to find

Another ounce of strength to save me just in time.

Just enough grace for today.

Sometimes life, sometimes death

Sometimes much to give, and sometimes nothing left.

Sometimes wise, sometimes a fool,

But always You are faithful; always You are good.

So I lift my eyes to the hills where I know I’ll find

Another ounce of strength to save me just in time.

Just enough grace for today.

You’re enough grace for today.